“Silence”

The last conversation that she had with him; she was the most vulnerable she had been in a short period of time that their connection took place.  She tried to keep the words to herself but one morning, she had had enough and decided that he should know.  She thought about him too much…all the what ifs…all the maybe this and maybe that, and she found that those thoughts tore her apart.  She kept thinking about the past and how she wished he would have just taken her into his arms and just did away with every single pain that she ever felt in her life.

Friday evening and she had planned to meet to up with a few of her girlfriends for drinks and dinner, but she found herself sitting on her sofa staring at the wall.  As she stared at the wall, she thought about him.  She wished she could shake what she was feeling about him…about them, but those emotions were inevitable.  She sighed aloud because she knew he was purposely staying away from her and rightfully so, unfortunately.

She felt trapped and stuck, and all she wanted was out.  She wanted to be free and to feel the newness of being with him.  It didn’t matter to her where they would go just as long as she would be with him.  She knew deep down in her heart that it may never happen but then she realized “never say never.”

By the time she said never, she was sure he would have someone else as he had his life to live, and she understood this but was also torn.  Every single message that he sent to her, she kept rereading his words and she kept visualizing ALL the “what ifs” about him.  She hoped that he was visualizing the same about her.

She got up from the sofa and called her friend and told her she was about to get ready for their evening plans.  Just as she was about to hang up with her friend, she received a text message from him.

Hey, hope you’re having a decent evening.  I’m not because I’ve been thinking about you all day.  This is not good as you know I need to focus on my goals.  I don’t know where we go from here but at some point, I want to go somewhere with you, if you let me.  I know that this is difficult, but don’t count me out just yet.  Besides, you put a smile on my face every time I think about you.  Call me when you’re up to it.”

She decided not to reply to his text right away as she wanted to relish the words she had just read.  She wanted to savor the moment because finally, he was being vulnerable with her and he let his guard come down.  Once his guard came down, she knew she would have a chance…with him, maybe.

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